Autism & Labels

The more things change, the more they stay the same (deep, huh?  And I haven't even had a coffee yet).

I recently noticed the same old arguments circulating on social media again.   As well as being  little tedious, it's kinda surprising.  How can people yell at each other for so long and not move an inch? 

Maybe people just like shouting.   

Bunches of people are immovably shrill in their opinions about how autistic people identify themselves, and how they are addressed by neurotypical people.  The vitriol has been spiced up a notch by comparing the symbolic jigsaw piece to a swastika (the very drama!).  As with any argument, there are two, or more, sides.  I get that some people don't appreciate being viewed as a cryptic puzzle, or as a symbol of something missing.  I'm not crazy about it myself.  But I find it improbable that a jigsaw piece will incite mass autism-phobia, culminating in genocidal hysteria.  My son will not find himself  the subject of discrimination (or holidaying in a concentration camp) because of a puzzle piece.  

To be fair, historically labels have been used to create mistrust and segregation, sometimes resulting in injustice...... but this has been against a backdrop of social upheaval, economic crises and civic unrest.  Injustice never happens in a vacuum.  

It's not as two-dimensional as a simple logo sparking annihilation.  

Armageddon coming atcha.  Bring your jigsaw.  

The old shouting matches still rage about using the terms 'is autistic' or 'has autism'.  Some folk express stroke-inducing rage at being labelled 'autistic' as it infers that it is part (or all) of their identity.  Some object to being described as 'having autism' as it implies that they have a disease.  When my patience runs thin with the polarizations, I sometimes tell people my son caught Autism off a toilet seat.  I'm not always popular.  I like to hope that it's possible for people to have different opinions and still be friends, but maybe I'm an optimistic fool.  I just think there are more immediate things to be concerned about.

I have a different way of looking at it.

When I am scrubbing my son's shit off the walls (something I do less often these days thankfully), it doesn't much matter to me if he is autistic, has autism, or identifies as Gerald the three-legged hamster from Ardee.  I'm still scrubbing shit off the walls.  It seems like such a waste of time and energy.  My love for my son doesn't change based on the use of a word.  There are more productive uses of our precious resources.

I'm not autistic, so how dare I have an opinion about the impact of labels, right?

I was recently ascribed a bunch of labels to categorize my mental health difficulties.  I am very aware of the impact of labels.  It's hard when your fears become reality.  But with the labels, comes a sense of direction and the growing realisation that our difficulties do not mean we're weak or 'less than'.  Labels point me towards the areas I need to focus on.  They also afford me a degree of self-kindness when I am working through challenging moments.  

A label is not who I am, but a signpost to becoming a better version of myself.

How other people perceive our labels is not our business.  We have no control over that.  Even when they are being unkind or judgmental, its a reflection of them, not of you.  I believe it's not the word, but the intention behind it that makes a difference.

P.S.  Maybe the Nazis wouldn't have been taken so seriously if they had a pretty jigsaw logo embroidered on their lapels instead of a sinister up-side down cross.  

Just sayin'.