Autism & Therapy

The more personal development I do, the more I'm in awe of Finian.

The kid who is labelled as having 'special needs' lives in a state of self-acceptance and wholesomeness that most of us can only dream of.

To be fair, Finian does have special needs.....  anyone who routinely chows down on furniture and enjoys a nice game of chicken with traffic has additional requirements.  But 'special needs' is not a uniform blanket that covers every aspect of his being.

As far as I can tell, Finno embodies mindfully living in the present and doesn't waste time ruminating over the past or worrying about the future.  He seems to navigate this earth fearlessly, with a solid sense of his own identity.  He is who he is;  he doesn't fretfully construct a persona to make people love him.  People love him anyway.  

His authentic nature is saving me a fortune in therapy.

As a student counsellor, I'm expected to rise to uncomfortable challenges.

Well, to be fair, things like time management, academics and life balance are difficulties to be expected.  No-one goes to college for an easy ride.

It's the personal development demands of the course that blindside me occasionally.  Now and again I faceplant into that psychological shitpit and have a good old roll around in it.

It's mandatory that we attend our own personal therapy.... this is so that we're aware of our own stuff and don't project them onto clients.  But it occurred to me, that most of my work is around un-learning unhelpful patterns and beliefs.  Finian never bought into this crap in the first place.  It's like Autism has betowed upon him the gift of Not Giving a Flying Fuck (patented counselling term), and I could really do with more of that. 

He doesn't do defence mechanisms.

I've had to dig deep to find the courage and humility to make myself vulnerable (and authentic) to my therapist, and then to my loved ones.  This is a risk, with sometimes painful consequences.  But if I expect this level of openness from my clients, I need to be able to walk the walk myself.  Finian never learned to shut his real Self off from others, so he always knew exactly who he is.

I've had to un-learn relating to others from my ego, and try harder to connect from my deeper, more genuine Self.  I do this by slowing down, checking my responses and being painfully honest about what's motivating them.  It's a work in progress.  For example, sometimes on reflection, I'll realise that I've said something to appear clever instead of genuinely connecting with someone.  Or I'll respond in a certain, insincere, way to prevent a hostile reaction from the other person.  Finian doesn't give a shit sideways (also a patented counselling term) about any of this.  How others perceive him isn't even at the races.  I'm more than a little jealous.

It's not that I spend all my time joylessly naval gazing.  Occassionally I like to get nuts with the dark arts of crochet, or I've been known to crack open a new book midfuckingweek.  If I'm feeling really freaky, I'll drink tea right before bed.  So lock my bad ass up.

We have so much to learn from diversity, if we have the eyes to see it and the heart to feel it.

Also, I may have said before, but Finian would make a great therapist...... if he'd keep his clothes on and stop eating the chairs.

mmmmmm, delicious