Autism & OCD

 Denial is great.

Our cat Mabel vanished a few months ago.  We were devastated.......  until we decided that he's now living his best life in a new home, being fed wild salmon and caviar by a doting owner.  He's definitely not dead in a ditch somewhere.

It's not hard to maintain this palatable story.  There's nothing tangible to pick holes in our dreamy narrative (if we ignore the absence of the actual cat, that is).

But, sometimes reality is so persistent that the seduction of denial loses it's power.  I really hate that.  

Here's the thing.

I think Finian has OCD.

I'm not a big fan of creating a pathology out of an adaptive emotional response, but he's developed new behaviours over the last few months that I can't not-see.

He has developed a fixation with making sure all the plug sockets in the house contain plugs.  Vacant sockets have become a source of anxiety that can only be remedied by filling them immediately.

It's not hard to see where this probably stems from.  

The protracted, seismic transitions in his life this year have created uncertainty, which causes anxiety.  He has no control over the external forces that govern these changes.  In an effort to exercise some degree of control (and a sense of safety), he has latched onto filling plug sockets as something he can impose certainty on.

I'm not stopping him from doing it.  If this behaviour is helping him to feel a little better, then lets have more of it.  It's not harming anyone, and hopefully it'll become redundant when his adult services become better established.

I was chatting to a friend last week about the complexities of our sons (she'll remain nameless, except that she's called Tara and lives in Drogheda.  DM me for her Eircode and PPS number).  We wondered if they weren't autistic, if they'd still have anxiety disorders, hyperlexia, ADHD, possible photographic memories and whatever you're having yourself. It's hard to imagine what they'd be like without autism.

So, OCD is a new and (so far) benign acronym in our lives. It'll give me something to LOL about on my way to FML.

bow before your king