Autism & Buddhism

Lately I've been finding room in my life to become more spiritually questioning.  It's thrilling to be open to ask the Big Questions, while forging a path between being cynically dogmatic and foolishly gullible.  

For years I've been doing a lot of agnostic fence-sitting, and tbh the 'I-don't-know' camp is getting kinda dull.  There's savage fun to be had overturning the rocks of our assumptions.

So I'm starting to learn a little about those crazy Buddhists.  I had a vague idea of Buddhist practice being like hanging out in a a top-notch spa...... y'know the minimalist types that charge €300 for a glass of tap water and whack you with bamboo canes if you fancy a big, meaty burger?  Turns out, there's a small degree of that in there.  Not the spa thing, unfortunately, but the pain thing.  I learned that Buddhism is built on four noble truths, the first of which is "life is suffering".

Am ngl, I got very excited about this.

As an ex-catholic I can do suffering like a boss.  As a baby catholic, I was born a filthy, disgusting sinner with instructions to suffer like mad to weasel my way into heaven.  But even though I left that behind me a long time ago, I still love a good suffer.  To paraphrase Dara O' Brian "I may be an atheist, but I'm still a catholic".

I read more.

And then they ruined it.  I like nothing better than a nice spot of self-flagellation with all my despicable shortcomings, and they had to go and suggest that we can transcend our bad shit.  I mean, what's the point in indulging in some lovely inner torment if we can't wallow in it? 

Those cheery lads say that the first step to enlightenment is to silence our desires (which we only use to distract us from accepting the impermanence of everything).  By desires, they mean external 'success' like wealth, status, drinking buddies, hot lovers, teslas etc.   The stuff we can't seem to get enough of.  We spend much of our lives consumed by the fear of not acquiring enough, and then the fear of losing what we acquired.  The very root of suffering is craving for, and clinging to, the things that reinforce the illusion of permanence.

This is kinda tricky as the entire western culture is built on the premise of 'not-enough-ness'.  We are indoctrinated into a belief system that He Who Owns The Most Toys, Wins.  Ooops.  In the same way that a fish doesn't know it's wet, we are unaware of how insanely materialistic our society is.  There's simply no room for our soul in this.

So I was having a nice, chewy think about this while I was doing stuff with Finian when I had one of those braingasms that knocked me sideways for a bit.

Finian is already living this.  

My special needs kid is miles more spiritually sophisticated than me, a supposedly well educated, neurotypical adult. 

He has no interest in external trappings that say nothing about his internal being.  He lives mindfully in the present.  He accepts loss and change with equanimity (well, maybe not where his 8 million dvds are concerned, but you get the gist). 

He's a goddamn Buddhist hiding in plain sight.

It'll be fun learning more about Buddhism from books and podcasts, but I'll be consulting with my strangely wise son as well.