Autism & Routines

Rule #1 when you have an autistic kid is to establish routines.  

Lots of autistic people experience the world as chaotic and hard to interpret.  It's sometimes described as being lost in a foreign city where you have no map and don't know the language.  It might a bit like when I first moved to Monaghan and depended on my husband to decode what a 'shuck', 'rulya' and 'clart' meant.  Quite a few people thought I was English (I come from the next county).  I'm still considered a suspicious blow-in 25 years later.  

OK, so a Louth woman living in Monaghan is a bit of a stretchy metaphor for autism, but it's all I got.  My energy levels are kinda down the toilet today.

Anyway,  it's not hard to understand why autistic people become exhausted and overwhelmed.

Building routines gives a sense of predictability and safety in an unfathomable world.  For sure, routines can be kinda tedious, but so is Kim Kardashian's alarming arse (it seems to be everywhere) and lots of us find the time to pay attention to that.   I suppose a caveat to this is that routines shouldn't be too rigid as teaching flexibility is important too.

I stopped using most social media platforms a short while ago.  It's still uncomfortable, but a good uncomfortable.  It's kinda like having an itch in a limb I don't have....... there's nothing satisfying about scratching it.  So I stopped.  It's giving me more time to attend to the real world and the people around me.  

It's good to be more focused on maintaining Finian's routines.  What's surprising is how soothing his routines are for me too.  When I'm more concerned with making lunch than some B lister's divorce, that has to be a win.    

Yeah I know I'm a massive hypocrite.  I get my lovely husband to post my blog on his platforms, but what can I say?  Unlike KK's terrifying buttcheeks, I'm not perfect.  But it's good to keep moving towards being authentic.  Working around routines is another baby step in getting there.  

I keep having a recurring dream where a river floods the road ahead of me and rolls uphill.  I think it'll be impossible to wade through the current while going uphill, but not only is it easy..... it turns out to be beautiful.  Sometimes making changes isn't as tough as we fear.

It's humbling to keep learning from a kid with special needs.  But it's also pretty damn cool.