Autism & Appearances

A couple of years ago, we placed a log on top of our stove to fill a gap between it and the chimney.  To most people, it seems to be an attempt to introduce a little rustic whimsy into our dining room.  However, I hate to throw icy water across the Beautiful Homes  illusion, but the truth is that it's there to stop the cat dumping a load behind it.  

That log is an unromantic metaphor for life with Autism.

When you live with Autism, a fundamental law is that things are often not as they appear to be.  

When Finian starts rapping about locking people's cars, he's not concerned for the security of the vehicles of his loved ones.  What he's communicating is that he's feeling a bit frustrated.

When he requests a shower it means he's attempting to self-regulate a need for sensory input.  He really doesn't care if he smells like a piece of week-old quiche.

When he escalates to threats of pooing on people's beds, he's not actually going to relieve himself on my favourite duvet (although now that I think of it, he actually did  leave a surprise turd on our bed once, which I made him clean up.... he never did it again).  Threats of waste disposal means it's time to bring in the bomb squad and defuse whatever emotional explosion he's about to ignite.

It really helps if you can speak Autism.

As you can see, shit is a recurring theme in our home, both literally and figuratively.  There's definitely a pun in there somewhere about using a log to stop the cat producing one, but I'm not quite at full capacity today.  Forgive me.  I'll produce much better shit next time.

We're working with school to give Finian the language to express his feelings.  But it's become our normal to have to deconstruct images and phrases to decipher hidden meanings. We're used to taking nothing at face value.

So it's a huge shock to me when something is exactly as it appears to be. I'm not quite sure what to do with transparency.

Finian has taught me to listen to what is being said behind the words.  It's a great skill to bring into my counselling training.  I could do with less anxiety about finding rogue turds in unexpected places, but it's fun to find the silver lining.