Autism & Anxiety

Up until a few days ago, Finian could only reliably identify two emotions (happy or sad).

"Happy" or "sad" formed an emotional umbrella that covered everything from moribund depression to delirious joy.  Trying to help him figure out, and label, his emotions has been the work of his lifetime.

Finian is also a man of few words (unless, of course, he's scripting Bob the Builder in Hungarian.... then he talks faster than a coked up jack rabbit).  Mostly, he's rather chew his own leg off than have a conversation with someone.  Verbal economy is his jam.

So, a few days ago he seemed tense and his sister Ellen asked him what was wrong.

"I am a little bit anxious" he replied.

Finian casually mentioning that he felt "a little bit anxious" is the equivalent of a toddler looking up from his Jack & The Beanstalk book and reciting Dante's Inferno.  He got his pronouns right.  He constructed, and expressed, an entire sentence.  He identified and verbalized his emotion.  

When Ellen and I regained the power of speech, we did a little more detective work and figured out the cause of his anxiety (he was worried that there would be a "disco dance party" at respite).   The Maria Goretti respite centre he attends embodies all that is good in this world, and a text from them reassured him that disco dance parties wouldn't happen when he visits.  They are kindness itself.

Finian's ability to name even one new emotion meant that he went to bed a happier person.

We're conditioned to view anxiety as a 'bad' emotion, but in reality no emotion is good or bad.  Emotions are things that give us information about our inner and outer world..... it's only our perceptions of them that colour them with judgement.

Feeling anxiety is not pleasant, but it gave Finian the ability to change something he found threatening.  It will be fascinating to see if this new skill will help him manage future emotional dysregulation.